we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
