In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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