Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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