dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Randomize
