R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
