how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
