Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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