I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
