I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
