They should really pass out barf bags in church
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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