Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's great music for shaving your balls
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
