she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
