I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
