I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
