HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
