the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
