I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
