listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
