bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
