Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
