just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
