i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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