I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize