Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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