is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i believe in u and ur pee
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