it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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