I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
