So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
