is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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