Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
