You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
