the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
