Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
