Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
