At least make sure they are 18
Why
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
