My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
