Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
