I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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