I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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