just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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