I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
