if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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