i may or may not be watching the land before time
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
