Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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