Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He had one of those small greek statue penises
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
