this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
