Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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