I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
