My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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