spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sacagawea was the original milf.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
