I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
