He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
