He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
