Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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