If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
