There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
