if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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