everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
