So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize