I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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