Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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