I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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