It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
