White coat. Heels.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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